Pizza is one of my favorite foods. I like Pizza of all sorts. This is exactly why I don't judge 2 Bros. Pizza, but rather appreciate and embrace it for exactly what it is - a slightly skeevy joint that serves up a delicious slice of goodness. 2 Bros. Pizza doesn't pretend to be something that it is not, it is not putting up a facade. 2 Bros. Pizza is not wearing a mask, they are not hiding their dirty little secrets. Is the establishment small? Tiny, yes. Is it muggy and filled with a sort of steamy stale air? You bet. Are there any sinks in view where the employees can wash their hands from time to time? None that I ever saw. DOES THEIR PIZZA COST A DOLLAR A SLICE? Sure does, sure does.
Now, I'm not saying you should sacrifice quality to save a dollar here or there. The thing is, you aren't sacrificing quality by eating a slice from 2 Bros. Pizza. You are getting exactly what you pay for, which is a delectable slice of pizza. The cheese to sauce ratio is exactly on point and the crust is the perfect consistency. It should be noted that the two gentlemen pictured on the 2 Bros. Pizza sign are not the gentleman who knead your dough, sprinkle your cheese, and toss your pizzas. I have never seen these two gentlemen in 2 Bros. Pizza and while I do not believe it was an intentional fabrication on 2 Bros. Pizza's part, they do not exist in the realm of the dollar slice. That being said, if you expect an authentic Italian slice of pizza then you should absolutely go elsewhere, oh, and good luck finding one.
The 2 Bros. Pizza I frequent is located on lovely St. Marks. The worst part of the whole experience is making your way down that block during peak times, which seem to be 24/7. The other part of the whole experience that really bothers me while I make my way to 2 Bros. Pizza, is passing the other 2 Bros. Pizza that mysteriously opened only a few store fronts down from the BETTER and ORIGINAL 2 Bros. Pizza on St. Marks. Forgive me while I go off on a tangent about this copycat 2 Bros. Pizza. Once I find a place I enjoy, I'm loyal to that exact place and location. This second 2 Bros. Pizza a few doors away is mind boggling to me (and I don't care that it is the same owners). I should actually just start walking the long way to reach the superior 2 Bros. Pizza so I don't have to look at this eye sore anymore. Oh, and they call themselves, 2 Bros. Pizza Plus, plus what? Explain that one. Right, you can't. I have never been in the newer, likely inferior, 2 Bros. Pizza (Plus) and never will step foot in the establishment (unless my preferred 2 Bros. Pizza closes - desperate times, desperate measures).
Just a few things about the cleanliness of this establishment. Ignorance is bliss is an apt description. I try not to think about it too much, to some extent I bury my head in the sand or sauce in this case. The bottom line is, you can't have it all. You can't indulge in a dollar slice of pizza that is pretty darn delicious and expect the highest quality ingredients and health standards. In all fairness, I would likely continue to frequent 2 Bros. Pizza even if I found out they had a dirty little unsanitary secret. Like Madonna Louise Ciccone a/k/a Madonna once so rightly put it, "Things haven't been the same / Since you came into my life / You found a way to touch my soul / And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go / Mmm mmm, my baby's got a secret / Mmm mmm, my baby's got a secret / Mmm mmm, my baby's got a secret for me." If you felt uncomfortable reading those lyrics as related to pizza, think about how uncomfortable I felt when I thought of them in relation to pizza, then proceeded to type them out.
You can't beat a slice of pizza for a dollar, especially a good slice. They also have a deal, two slices, and a can of soda, all for the price of $2.75. In fact, I am so fond of 2 Bros. Pizza that I wrote a little poem for them, creatively titled "2 Bros. Pizza":
2 Bros. Pizza
Hey Brothers, you're unlike any other
Hey Brothers, I'd like to meet your mother
Hey Brothers, here is one single dollar
Hey Brothers, your pizza deserves a holler
Hey Brothers, St. Marks can be a zoo
Hey Brothers, I smile when I think of you
Hey Brothers, please save me a slice
Hey Brothers, I hope you don't have mice
Hey Brothers, I hope you are clean
Hey Brothers, sorry that was mean
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